Positive

Okay folks.  I realized yesterday that it has now been one month since I started dealing with the nasty side effect of my 20 radiation treatmeants.  That side effect - rectal bleeding.   I had two Colonoscopies in three days.. A small area of my colon was cotterized.   Yes it hurt for about a day and a half.  As my Doctor said it is going to hurt because it is like burning your skin. 

Well, even now I have one small area that bleeds like crazy as soon as I restart my Xeralto.  I am on that drug because I am subject to getting blood clots.  

The treatment to help stop the bleed is the removal of Xeralto and Hydrocortisone enemas.  The first time around I had to do this two times a day.  Now, I am only doing it once a day. 

Hang on though I said it quickly - I am off my Xeralto - but I need that drug to prevent blood clots.  

The US and Canada as well as the rest of the world is going crazy because of the Coronavirus.  At the moment at least in North Dakota we have only been advised of one case. Not much to be concerned with yet.  But seriously - I have enough or more going on in my body right now.   I can safely describe my very existence as if I am a living bomb. 

No, I won't explode but both my legs are riddled with spots with blood clots.  The entire education on blood clots was amazing however I am not going into the entire lesson on how the body recovers from this nasty blood blockages.   My Xeralto as best described by my GI doctor makes my blood very thin like water.  If I get cut I am going to bleed for a long time. Just getting a blood test can bleed for 15 minutes. 

Now that drug has been stopped and the fuse to the bomb has been lit  If I am lucky a blood clot will form in my leg and it will hurt for awhile.  However, the "bomb" is that I could actually end up with a clot in my lung - Pulmonary Embolism.  These I have heard hurt like heck and can lead to surgery to remove the clot.  Still not the worst of what could happen - Heart Attack or Stroke.   Yes folks, I am a walking life bomb until I am able to get back onto my blood thinner. 

Anyway. A couple of evenings ago I was doing my enema treatment and well laying there using the app Smule.  Smule, is a singing app which allows me to do duets with other singers.  There I am in the enema position waiting for as long as possible singing.  Even while I was in the midst of singing "Cracklin Rosie" I was also thinking how crazy is this.  I am giving myself a treatment and doing my best to keep the stuff inside for at least 10 mins... My bomb could go off at any minute and there I lay singing away and not very quietly either.   I totally enjoyed the song and the moment. 

Then I started wondering one thing - amongst all my trials documented for all to see here in this blog..  All the trials of the world with the Pandemic happening and listening to people express their anxiety about the Virus.  Yes one person that is a work associate and I have since invited her to read my blog suggesting being positive is difficult. .... I am positiive. 

Can you imagine being positive and having the fear or a Heart Attack or Stroke at any minute because you can't take a drug you need ?  Literally,  I could drop dead in mid sentence and this blog entry would never be read.  But, this guy is positive. 

I take the time during my calls at work to share some humor with my callers. Some enjoy it and others well I sense not to proceed with any jockularity as the darts will be sent through the phone. I schedule transportation and interpretation services for those on workers comp. Of course things go wrong and I am the guy that has to figure out what when wrong and why.  In the past week I managed to hit 60 calls twice... working Monday - Friday ... I have handled just under 500 calls this month so far.  So, I have quite the opportunity to share some fun while dealing with at times very upset people.  I don't think about myself during my work day - except to make fun of my typing errors, how slow my computer might be and the crazy names of cities and streets i come across.  One of my callers left with the following comment: Keep on sharing we all need a laugh.  My last call yesterday - I shared a post from a friend on FB about cruises and my caller a Case Manager couldn't stop laughing.  All I said was - Cruises now have a great deal - Pay for one week, get two weeks free. 

However, I digressed there by at least a country mile. Why is this guy so Positive ?   My answer may not be what many of you might consider.  I have some good doctors, whom I trust will tell me the right things to do.  I have a wife that has shared with me the last 19 years and the experience of Cancer.  I have a great US family and I have a son in Canada that has reached out to develop a relationship with me. All good stuff.   The best thing I have going for me and in my opinion the only reason I can even consider remaining positive is that I made a decision when I was a teenager.  I became a Christian.  No, I am not going to preach to anyone but I will finish this blog entry with one simple statement for you to ponder.  If God is for me... who can be against me. 

It Is Well With My Soul. 

Thanks,  Wayne Rowe .... info@sharksbait.org

 

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