Hello to all my readers. This week has been very trying with an educational twist.
I am experiencing such discomfort along with the feeling of lack of control of my own body that without hope, I can pretty much guarantee I would be a human ball wrapped up in a ball crying. Men don't usually get UTI's (Urinary Tract Infection). Guess what Men, we are happily missing out on this torture. I don't think I can possibly explain the feeling to adequately explain what I have been experiencing - but I will attempt it.
First off the experience is much stronger in the hours that I want to sleep. I think I am going to go to bed at around 10:30pm and have good night. That is as I said - what I think. No more, this guy has learned his lesson and I have decided to test a new theory. Stay awake as long as possible and then head to bed and just maybe I will get the longest period of continued sleep since Aug 7th. It is now 12:30am as I type this.
My nights to this point have been broken by 1am. I wake up and lay in bed for no more than a few seconds and my body screams "GO PEE NOW". Well, by the time I am standing that scream from my body is now "ARE YOU READY ?". I open our bedroom door quietly and shut it quietly so I dont' wake up my wife. Can you imagine for a moment attempting to do that quietly while the voice in your brain is yelling "HERE COMES THE PEE" ? I am really glad that the bathroom is only three steps away and this route to relieve is a lot quicker than attempting to get to the master bath from my side of the bed.
My PJ's are dropped as quickly as possible and I sit. Men, I am not sure about this but let me tell you it is my experience that standing while dealing with an inflammed bladder only makes things worse. So, as an educational note here and a word to the wise - Sit or pay the consequences.
When the urine starts to flow - go ahead and feel that wonderful sense of relieve. Guess what - in that moment the feeling went from relieve to oh my gosh the pain I am feeling please make it stop. I squirm, I wiggle I come close to tears and wonder when it is going to stop. In the instance I am close to breaking down and crying - something hits me and I am able to let a small laugh out.
That feeling of defeat that would bring about tears is flushed with the love and healing grace of God. Can you imagine I am on the porcelain throne "dying" in pain and I can let out a small laugh because I maybe going through hell - but God is healing me.
Now I have had two fridays now that I had to ponder and finally give in to using an over the counter drug - Imodium. I have no idea how and there is no explanation in my brain with the limited knowledge of the body that could possibly explain the other half of this equation. The unbelievable ability to poop approximately every 45 minutes to an hour.
Something I read indicated that to get relieve from the UTI feeling of pain - one should drink plenty of water. The concept is to dilute the acid which is why it hurts. Okay, so back up a moment - it hurts to pee....drink more and it won't hurt. Think about that for a moment. I did it along with another over the counter drug called AZO. The drinking method actually seemed to work for me on Friday. Today - not so much. The AZO is actually a product for women when they have UTI's to relieve the pain. I think I mentioned this in another blog entry. IF not it can be fun - flourescent orange urine is kind of cool.
Anyway, I am being healed by God and apparently God has a sense of humor so I can pee orange. I also of course had to trust God and drink lots of water so that the pain would decrease.
Okay here is the educational twist on my experience. I may have it worse than other males. I am on Xarelto due to experiencing blood clots. Due to being on that drug I and most anti-inflammatory drugs are classified as NSAID .... I am not able to take them. Example: I am not able to take Ibuprofen. So the simple inflammed bladder issue for most becomes very complicated for me.
The experience and education with my wife (Crystle) continues. I am now learning on how to do a Lymphatic node massage.
That about sums things up. The Radiation Treatments have given me a good feeling of Fatigue. The only way to stay on top of it is to literally stay busy. But when it gets quiet - the feeling of being exhausted hits pretty hard. It is hitting me now at 5:10pm on Sunday - but I now have become part of the Minot Chamber Chorale and practise is at 6:00pm.
No poem this week but I may have started writing another book.
Anyone out there ? I would really love to hear from my readers ( firstname.lastname@example.org )