I apologize to my readers for not providing this update over the weekend.
My issues outlined previously really got into my way of wanting to sleep. I went from Monday - Wednesday getting up every hour. Unfortunately, no i don't just get back to bed and fall asleep. By Thursday, I was a grumpy sort of guy that really didn't want to hear anything negative from anyone. Which of course I got.
My Short Term Disability was suspended, a refund check never showed up and my employer sent me an email that said my Leave Of Absence was denied. Oops wrong thing to tell the exhausted Mr. Wayne Rowe. I replied with an email and I am sure the computer wires were on fire as it go to its intended readers. I received a phone call from one of the managers who decided to begin his conversation with - How are you? My response was - I think you already know the answer to that. The best part of the conversation was that he decided to approve my Leave Of Absence.
Then comes Thursday and I have appointment with a Palliative Care Doctor. Well after review of my situation she asked some questions which I of course was happy to answer. I let her know that it would be great if she could prescribe something that would knock my happy ass out. She ended up prescribing 3 different drugs. So at this point I now have 7 drugs a Calcium pill that I take everyday. Of course on top of this - I also get two shots each month.
The drug she gave me to help me sleep. WOW !! What a number on my head. Several times I was literally acting out the motions in my dream - to which I woke up and wondered what the heck I was doing. I had to tell myself quietly that for instance - there is no button to push. Of course there were no people to save, no danger in driving over a cliff.. My brain has been so frazzled that I have caught myself staring at the Facebook page and wondering what I am supposed to do. Only to figure out eventually that there is nothing to do.
Yes, I am getting more sleep - about 2 hours at a time. Naps during the day help with the fatigue level I am experiencing. Oh this stuff called Cancer is definitely not easy to fight. I thank God for being with me and helping me maintain a positive attitude and a sense of humor no matter how bad it gets.
Quite frankly and honestly - I think my report to my Oncologist's next week is that treatment thus far has been a living hell. I have pondered briefly on the possibility that I am actually losing the battle. Briefly, I said - so my thoughts don't get too far
I saw someone from work this week in the parking lot after picking up my prescriptions. He yelled out my name - I turned, saw him in the vehicle but couldn't address him at all because I was not able to remember his name. It has almost been 7 days since that happened and I finally just recalled his name.
This is Wednesday and this week has been relatively easy to handle. I know I have to be able to run to a restroom frequently so I do my best to be ready and know where they are in a restaurant or store. My exerice program at the YMCA seems to help and gives me a moment of "I did it" at least twice a week.
As always I would appreciate hearing from my readers: firstname.lastname@example.org