It Just Continues

It has been an interesting week.  Working at home is very comforting and being able to walk out of a bedroom and announce to myself at 6:00pm that I am home ...is terrific. However, the lack of education on where to find things and how to do things for my new employer is very frustrating.   I had an appointment on Friday for my Calcium shot.  Attempting to schedule time off was a crazy stress.  Finally I had to schedule Flex time - making up for time off within two days.  It all worked out in the end with some overtime built into the craziness. 

I sent a letter to the Directord of the Cancer Care Center and after finally connecting spoke to him for probably 20 minutes.  I guess I felt I had to cave in an keep my Oncologist.  However to sum things up - the pain continues.  The hospital knows I don't have insurance and being what I have to consider a typical medical facility in the US doesn't want to do any testing unless they know they are going to get paid.   I was called and told quite bluntly that without insurance I would have to pay $440 before the test is done.  I am working on extending my health insurance for December but alas the cost of one month is $381.  Not something I have so I have turned to GoFundMe for help.  

My experience with GoFundMe leaves me wondering about people. I have helped people in the past and unfortunately never got a Thank You.   I have also helped people personally with the understanding that what goes around comes around.   Unfortunately, I seem to the be one guy that rule doesn't apply to.   One of my readers has shared my Go Fund Me campaign on her Facebook wall - I can only hope that she doesn't get any negative thoughts posted because of her caring approach.  She is truly an amazing woman.  My third grade teacher and I am now 57 yrs old.  Think about that a connection made so long ago and refreshed because of Facebook.  I appreciate her humanness and caring everyday. 

I went to my appointment on Friday and in the reception area they had a table of Christmas Cards made by students at a local Elementary school.  I decided on a card sat down to wait for my appointment and cried.  A little boy named Gabe had written my card.   The message was simple and filled with the innocent love of a child... To sum it up the card hoped that I would have a great time with family and he hoped the reader would feel better after Christmas.  There is no way that Gabe has any clue how touching his simple thoughts were. 

Many an adult that I have come across can't express any thoughts when I have told them I have Cancer.  I have had several that have literally turned away and left when I have told them I have Cancer.  

My pain unfortunately appear to slowly be getting worse on a daily basis.  A CT Angiogram has been scheduled to see if I have restricted blood flow but nothing else has been scheduled in 2020 at this point.  My new health insurance kicks in January 1st.  

Most of the time the pain is located in my lower right Abdomen.  However, I have felt pain on the left side of my chest - it hurt to lift my arm and to touch my side.   Today while out with Crystle who is 5'4" - I am 6'3" ... found that my walking speed had been greatly reduced by the restrictive pain and I was not able to keep up with her.  I am spending some time now at 12:27am typing this as laying down is a challenge for both getting comfortable and staying cool in bed. 

Laying down just opens up the sensations of pain.  I may as well be a punching bag because there aren't too many spots that don't get hit with a punch of pain when I want to sleep. 

Yes, I am scared right now because of the unexplained pain.  I just can't understand why anyone I speak to doesn't seem to agree that it could be another type of Cancer in my body.  I can only hope at the moment that I will be successful in pushing for a PET scan in January.    I will have another challenge in January - Crystle is heading to Florida and then a cruise and will be gone for 16 days.  I have told her that if any tests indicate something negative while she is gone - I will not tell her while she is away. 

Maybe up to this point my fight with Prostate Cancer has been too easy and I need to learn more about being a Cancer Warrior.  I am not sure and I am ready for anything that needs to be done to reduce the pain I am experiencing.  That is enough for now. 

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