Dear God:

Dear God:

I come to you a broken man.  But you knew that already.  I believe that most people would probably be very angry with the cards I have been dealt.  However, I must say that I am in some strange way proud to be a Cancer Warrior. 

My body is fighting a deadly disease that in our society scares people just with the mention of it.  We may be in the 21st century but Cancer and the mere mention of its puts a fear in a lot of people.  It has been my worst experience to mention that I have Cancer and people saying sorry and then walking away without another word being said.  That solemn expression of lack of caring has got to hurt more than anything Cancer can throw at a Warrior. 

I am no different than any other Cancer Warrior - we all go through the gammit of emotions, pain and and side effects of treatment.  However, we the Cancer Warriors really have no choice.  We are given a death sentence if we don't act.  But in reacting and accepting treatment we must also subject ourselves to Radiation Treatments, Drugs and Chemo. 

The poison of Chemo kills every fast growing cell in a body.  Radiation can and does create the tenderness and pain of burns to the skin. My Radiation treatments enflammed my bladder and probably every other organ around the targeted site of my Prostate and Bladder.  The drugs which I am appear now to be affecting my mood and I wonder what that means for my future as a pleasant manner in phone work must be present through my voice.  Hearing from another work associate that I must be more professional is scary  The troubles of being treated are by far the worst. 

The benefit of this treatment torture is the ability to really look at life in a different way.  The same people that may walk away from someone with Cancer because they are scared - may have issues they are dealing with or may end up dealing with... That Cancer Warrior can provide such comfort to them although they were more than willing to leave the Cancer Warrior on the side of the street. 

Seriously, God,  It is incredible to consider that nothing in life can be so devastating that the thought of fighting for ones life.  Oh I don't want to suggest that life situations that hit including natural disasters are not bad.  However, after fighting for ones life accept the loss of a family member - everything is just a challenge that can be conquered easily.  The loss of a house is a massive hit to anyones life.  But yet, it is at most a loss of property.  Insurance helps out and those affected by the powers of nature move on. 

The simplest things a bud on a plant that will become a flower is possibly missed by so many.  However, you have given such small details to those that have fought and won. 

My desire God is small. I want to be able to provide a way millions can receive help financially through the rest of this website - Sharksbait.  However, I fear that the mention of Cancer drives many people away.   Or in the worst case that many people that visit the site read my message and just consider me like the rest - an organization that is allowed to operate and collect monies yet never really are able to get down to the real reason that they exist. 

My desire is to be the best servant possible and extend my hand to those that need help.  I may lose my battle, that is your choice.  But hopefully you will allow me to start something that will change the way people think and react and bring about a true concern for their neighbor.    Everyone at somepoint in their lives needs a little help from their friends...