I have hit a turning point. My last appointment with my Oncologist was on the 26th. We talked about the last month and the numerous side effects I experienced with my lupron shot. I really didn't want another injection of Lupron.
The end result - was no injections. The other portion of the plan was now to find out where my existing cancer was as far as spreading or not. A Bone and CT Scan will be scheduled. However, my Oncologist also decided that if there is no change that maybe we should just go into a state of monitoring. No further treatment until needed. I am really not sure how I felt leaving - but I know I would begin to slowly be relieved of the side effects. A little jump for joy happened as I could maybe look forward to being released from Hot Flash - hell.
However, the gravity of the situation hit me about 2am. No change in the existing Cancer - would mean no further treatment until it decides to become active. Hang on here.... this is taking me back to January 2019 when my wife's aunt was admitted to hospital and was later told that she wouldn't be leaving alive.
I called a contact I have had since 2016, Greg Wells with the Cancer Treatment Center of America. I told him what was going on and he said that I needed a second opinion. That was on the 27th. Today, I have gone through a number of a phone calls from CTCA - and have an appointment scheduled with them on June 2 at 8:30am. They are covering the flight and will let me know when I need to be at the airport on June 1.
So after 11 months - I feel like I am going to be starting over again. I know as I type this that I have Cancer in a right rib and a Lymph node... so yes after 11 months of treatment I am still behind the eight ball.
I have learned a lot about patience in the last year. I have also learned that being a Christian and a singer can bring tears to your eyes when singing a hymn or song of praise. The song -- Because He lives ... is a simple and beautiful song when everything is going well in ones life. But when you hit a point like I have recently with multiple melt downs and yes literally walking up to my wife and saying - I don't want to die. Because He Lives - becomes a tear jerking song and very difficult to get through.
The song I picked months ago - It Is Well .... another perfect example of how someone's ability to write a song in their time of crises .... makes for a great song when all is well but darn if it isn't hard to continue to say - It is Well ... when the month of May 2020 was and appears to be ready to continue into June... has been filled with difficult times.
My last injection of Lupron was on April 23. I was hit with the following side effects: Hot Flashes, Cold, There was actually a period of about 2.5 weeks that I was either melting or freezing cold. There was not a moment that I was comfortable with my body temperature. I also started to have achy / sore bones ... which slowed me down. I became short of breath (no not Covid 19). I would do a few things and then have to stop and sit for about 20 minutes. On top of that I had headaches and nausea. Then to round things off - I was given constipation or of course the flip side. Oops I almost forgot - insomnia.
On the 12th of May I had an appointment with my Primary who ordered a CT Scan of my chest. Great news... part of my lung has collapsed.
On May 21st I went to the ER and spent about 5 hours there. They gave me something to help me sleep and proceeded to do a number of tests to figure out why I was in extreme pain. Sorry folks a scale of 1 to 10 didn't do it for me... I was hitting at least a 20.
I was sent home after being told that I have now developed an issue with my colon.
I had an angiogram earlier in May - which showed nothing. But apparently the ER doctor figured that it appears my heart is in A-Fib pretty much continually.
Where am I at with all this ? I am sick of being sick but you know what Because He Lives I can face tomorrow. Yes at this instance - all fear is gone because I know He hold the future and life is worth the living just because He Lives.
If you have taken the time to read the home page of www.sharksbait.org you know I have a mission to be able to help people with Cancer ... and anyone else that needs financial assistance. I call it the Power of X. I have been attempting to push this concept for a few years and it just hasn't taken off. Now after the world has been hit with Covid 19 .. and including me --- Millions of people are waiting for the government in the U.S. to help them make ends meet I really have to wonder if my Power of X ... would have done much better than any government program. If those millions had read about the Power of X.... I am sure I would have been a very busy person instead of sitting at home furloughed. Please take a moment to read the home page and if nothing else please share it with someone. The entire concept is based on people helping people - Paying it Forward.
The email associated with my blog is: Info@sharksbait.org. My personal email is: email@example.com
I think the world has changed since being hit with Covid 19. People are more understanding, friendlier.... and just maybe it is time for my concept of the Power of X to take off.